a game that spelled murder.

first it was a wedgie up my unsuspecting ass, by our very own notorious TAT-the-horny-little-bastard. and may i add to it, it was a very very DEEP one indeed. and no. i DID NOT enjoy it.

then came the time when we were supposed to play the game: SURVIVOR-POV .. now,i shall, at this moment, make a statement that the article below is rated "M " for Mature audiences only and i shall not be responsible for causing any loss of appetite for meals, or causing stress or watsoever to dysfunctionalyse the reader's life. read on at your own will.

i was sitting in front of a cup of clear, innocent looking water. as each of us 4 final survivors were given a different cup of "something" and the objective was to finish it first. well, as smart as i thought i could be, i sat right down and stuck my ass to the chair right infront of this cup of clear water which i thought it somehow looked "safer" than the other red or yellow colored thick liquid in the other cups..But somehow, as Alvin was explaning the rules, i start to think that my Clear water could just be the most Lethal and Yucky one of them all..

so the "start" signal was given and i gulped it down my throat in one long shot,leaving all the doubts and questions behind. As soon as my taste buds decided to send out some neurons to my slightly retarded brain , and after my brain could recognise and tell my throat to stop wat was actually going down my stomach was HIGH DENSITY-FREAKING salty SALT water,it was already too late.i couldnt even jam my throat, the whole freaking gush of SodiumChloride had already rushed down my stomach, and some of it was trying come back out, in human words, i wanted to PUKE. immediately.

but i had to say, i'm a thick-necked person, i wouldnt believe one cup of this would make me feel all sick, so i thought it was okay, until i started to feel that things weren't going right in my body, i could feel that my throat was starting to burn, as if people sprinkled salt on your fresh wound, it was dry, okay maybe not so hurting, but it was burning-dry.BUT HEY, lemme give you a picture of wat i had just drank: it was the saltiest water that i've ever tasted, infact, it's the saltiest thing that's ever entered my mouth before, it's even saltier than all of the seawater that i've ever tasted, or accidentally drank before. and right at the bottom of that freaking cup just now, there were sediments of salt that cannot anymore be melted to mix in the water. and in more appropriate terms i call this evil liquid HYPERTONIC-SALINE-SOLUTION.

so i swallowed down one big bottle of 1.5 litre mineral water that i had, and rested in the pantry, until i felt that it had just gotten worse, and i should go to the toilet. ..
lucky i managed to close the door right before all the liquid in my stomach decided to do a reverseflow towards the negative direction to come out through my mouth right into the toilet bowl where i had just BENT my body over to aim at. yes. you can say it was a waterfall. a three-holed waterfall with some resemblance to the famous LATA-KINJANG on the way to cameron highlands-made up by my two nostrils and mouth ,the sight was BREATHtaking. and i mean i couldnt breath at all! --how could i? and wat came out, didnt just come OUT. some of the much DENSE liquid somehow, decided to come through my nostril, and MAN, i didnt know nostrils have taste-buds too until then, cos i can tell that it was really Freaking salty from my NOSE!

so after drying the drain for around 5 minutes, i went to wash my face in the basin, and in the mirror, guess wat i saw? i saw me. yeah, crap. i saw me in tears. damn those liquid.they didnt just try to come through my nose, they tried the eyes too~! someone's trying to murder me~!

wat the heck. so the story continued as i walked back to the office, and decided to stay a little while before i go back, just in case i had another wave coming up.. so i stayed for another 35minutes or so, and finally thought it might be okay already, but just let me go up to the toilet for just once more.y'know, incase...
INCASE it was, and INCASE had it never been any more accurate in timing,i closed the toilet door and released a freaking long fart. what worse could happen? OMG. i pudding-ed in my underpants.
I MUD-CAKED my UNDERPANTS! for as long as my memory stretches back, i've never had this kinda incident in my recollection, god knows when was the last time i had it, damn~! so i quickly took of my pants and THANK GOD atleast it wasnt contaminated, hung it to the hanger, and ofcourse took the super watery mud-cake and its Red Renoma Cotton"wrapper" off one side and immediately squatted down the toilet bowl to offer the toilet bowl a freeflow of mud-water coming out from my sink-hole. Now this is SERIOUS SHIT. SERIOUS WATER COMING OUT from my ass, just like pee coming outta your weewee, its like unpluggin the kitchen sink trap. *gross*. and i sat there helplessly for atleast 15 minutes. on and off.on and off. it reminded me of yellowstones' ol' faithful geyser:"whooooshhhh" only mine's flowing in the opposite direction ...
NO, i'm not proud of it, that's why i said:" thank you so farking much" for the "irrigation-prescription". i just wasted one of my fav undies into the trash. --WAT? ofcourse i dumped it."duh".

so i went home, very carefully controlling the gates of hell--my ass muscles,so as not to release even the slightest most, unsuspecting fart, cos i wouldnt know if its plain gas or actually those evil liquid which i think wont stop until they've soiled each and every one of my undies and even my pants...and great, everytime there's an emergency, there's gonna be a freaking jam because of no apparent reason, and it took me an extra 30 minutes more to reach home and immediately, i rush to feed, now, my starving toilet bowl.

and i pee-ed brown water from my ass again. sitting there for another 30 minutes...

so i came online, and searched for some info. to my surprise, i've found out how bad hypertonic-(means liquid that is higher density that your body liquid is) is to human body. it is used as an irrigation to flush out the mucus in the nasal canal, disclogging everything in its way and flushing out everything like how god flooded the world in the stories.--hey but atleast he warned NOAH, NOBODY WARNED ME!

because our body does not have such a high level of salt content, our kidneys have to work extra hard to make sure our body fluids all reach an isotonic state if we have high level or density of salted intake, or we simply just dont drink enough water. see? SOMEONES trying to kill me~!!! MURDER! i smell the intention of MURDER~!!

well, basically, from another point of view,i've just learnt a couple lessons:
1.never be so farking stupid.
2.too much salted intake can stress your kidney and cause it to wear out much earlier.
3.if the sensors in the stomach sense that the condition isnt anywhere near isotonic,the body will shut down its need to ingest food, thus may lead to anorexia.
4.i just remembered how nice it was to go around not wearing undies.

I HOPE the game-masters try out their games themselves first ,next time, cos the reason i write this article is that no one, believed me, when i said i was actually feeling so sick after that salt water. it's not just salt water. it's condensed saltwater. and i am putting up a 20 dollar bill for anyone who doenst believe me , but would like to drink the same freaking concoction that i made me poo in my pants. trust me. the only thing now i wanna focus is my gates-of-hell-ass-muscles. cos i really dont wanna risk it , not knowing wat i'll be releasing: air or AIR( in malay) ?

'scuze me, my toilet bowls calling me again~.