as i promised~

wat is life?
no, dont be mistaken, i did not spend the time, between my last post to today's post, hiding in solitude, meditating to find the answer to this question. hell, even many masters of great wisdom spent their whole life trying to figure out a pattern, a philosophy, or simply an answer to wat life is, end up not being able to find an answer to this cosmic question, how would i?
how could i? when just thinking about wat to write, today, took me almost 2 hours infront of the pc, just thinking.i've become blunt.rusty.

all i know is x-box's slogan: life is short, play more.
my question, however is something more human, more down to earth, wat should we do in life?
monks think that life is just a passing. you come with nothing, you will leave carrying nothing. i think it's true. yes although the fame n fortune stays back, after your life. but most probably it'll just last for a decade before your grandsons help you empty your left-fortunes, and before long, your fame starts to fade and decay from everybody's memories, so wat if you're thomas a.edison? i remember you, but you're still dead. so wat is important is the instant, the present.(the present could be your whole lifespan, not just NOW)

to me ,life is just an experience. it's the present. it doesnt matter anymore after your life. you're not gonna go to heaven carrying your memories, so that you can still look down from the skies,flapping your white feathery wings with your halo ring on top of your head to see how your fortunes are spent and if your kids are screwing around or not because when youre dead, it's just *POP. u wont even be thinking or worrying if there's a ray of light shining down with staircases or teleports to bring you to another world.thats just something we made up, so that those left behind wont feel so bad.

i'm not trying to sound all philosophical, i know nothing about it, but to me,you could be sitting in your living room stuck to your comfy sofa, glued right infront of your tv set, just lazing around getting wasted , and suddenly a lorry that got out of control jacks off the freeway , comes rolling through your garden and rams right through your wall , slams you flat like a pancake on the other side of the living room's wall, uniting particles of you with your crushed tv set plus debris and bricks of your wall. Or you could be sitting in the office during a sunday, not being happy you were made to work on a restday, and suddenly get a stroke attack n collapse on the floor *POP* thats it. these are worstcase scenarios ofcourse, but dont deny me, they happened. so wat is it with life? it's short. short and unpredictable.so how?if i had to choose, i rather be doing something happy when the man with the scythe comes.


lifespan=rand(0,120)
(is it a runtime expression? or a creation expression? hahaha)

i dont have the answers.alott of people say: just be happy.
i'm merely putting into words what tanggled thoughts i have in my mind now. well, for me,recently i've finally had my chance to finally go surfing , it started few months back 3 or 4 lessons in sunway lagoon, and i was out to the sea for the real thing with a bunch of nice surfers:loongchai,munhoe,david,davidG ,adrian,dista and the rest . it's been 5 surf trips, if not mistaken ,now, but i'm still a newbie, but the first time i've ever caught a wave, i had been introduced to a new word, a new world. stoked. it stands for addicted,intoxicated .how many times had i tried to explain, the unutterable feeling of total concentration ,for that short moment,it seemed like a temporal separation from the mortal world. in exagerrated words, enlightenment for the short period of time .in horny terms: it's better than orgasm.since then,i know one thing for sure, there are two things i will do until i cease to have the strength to perform them: aikido and surfing. it's not for the posh posey sake of being an aikidoka or a surfer. it's the life that i want.it's what makes me happy and definitely part of the elements i will include in living a life i will not regret. the life that im STILL struggling to define, to find a balance between reality and ideal.and living IN the present. so wat is yours?

i dont know how far deep writing this article drove my mind into it's thinking mode,it's still a mess, but blogging helps me reflect and reorganise. it's a store room that hasnt been cleaned for months and months now, maybe you'll see me writing the next one sooner.