a tribute to granma, a tribute to life.

mom called me this afternoon and asked me to go home to my home-town seremban once i finish work, granma was really ill, and they think she might not be able to make it this time. so i decided to leave my office earlier, cos brother and i didnt wanna miss her, just incase.
so we rushed home, and we saw her, lying on the bed, she could barely speak, but whispered some words which i coulndt make out wat they were.but mom managed to guess that granma wanted to turn her body abit. so i kneeled before my granma, looking at her, the same way,same angle i'd imagine how she'd looked at me when i was still a baby. the difference is she was gazing at me with Hope and happiness back then and now i am looking at her with Despair and depression. granma had all along been close to us.and we all know that despite being a little woman--a petite asian size, she had a big heart, a quiet character, and she's byfar, the person that i respect most when it comes to not whining and complaining about her own sufferings. my mom ranks second, i guess she learnt it from her own mom.

although close as granma was to me, i didnt know too much about her. as far as i remember, we used to cheer so much after the long anticipations when our dad would go to the train station and fetch granma and granpa whenever they returned from singapore for a trip. granma bought us alot of toys. and sweets whenever she and granpa visited singapore . several years earliier, she was diagnosed with cancer, if not wrong, cervical cancer.but through the whole process of fighting against the deadly virus, i've never heard her complain a single word.at most, during the extremeties, when pain was unbearable, she would tell us very calmly that she needs an injection.even mom's friends that has cancer were all whining and complaining so much, for such an aged lady when she had cancer, she succesfully fought it over without a single complain. i had developed my respect for her ability to adapt.

granma was always granpa's support when he was still around. granpa had been the first chinese malaysian to translate a local book, i dont quite remember iether it was a translation from a chinese book into an english text one.but being a frank and non-suspicious man, he had been cheated and not being paid while the book was publishd. he din want us to talk about it. but i'd always respected their relationship/ they werent smoochy, their relationship was just old style, typical easterner's love. yeah. something u will find it only exists in the world of fairytales in todays corrupted world--strong and sturdy love. grandpa always loved travelling, he travelled by bus, on foot. to all over malaysia, all the time, he cannot sit still at home for not even one afternoon, so granma always tagged along. it was cute and sweet to look at both of them, granpa being around 7 foot(abit less) and granma being 5foot . when most of the time, grandpa would be peeling apple skin off with his pen knife and sharing the slices with granma,or walking together, although they werent holding hands, u know they held their hearts together. when both of them are so soft-spoken and gentle to each other.
But granpa passed on earliear 2 yrs ago and granma moved on, she was still very independent. and i never heard a whine from her.she's just always talking to me about modern stuff and being interested to know stuff like my car, my life, and my gf, my job. really. it's hard to believe that she never stopped wanting to learn although she's already 70+ and i've still not heard any complains from her mouth.

now today, i was kneeling infront of her, i touched her head, her hair, and although she couldnt speak, she was looking at me with those spirited watery eyes, and i lookedback feeling so helpless knowing that i can do nothing to stop this final natural course in life from happening ,in my heart i wish i could only find the word to let her know how much respect i have for her. i guess the greatest thing that i've ever learnt from her, is her silent, but concrete affection to her husband for being with him all the time, her kids with undivided love, her grandson for not over pampering and self-dicipline and fighting spirit.. . i call my mom supermom, because she has a supermom too. and i hope granma, u will rest in peace.