creator:dungbeetle. a serious beetle lover and 3D animator by profession. crap_online is a posting place for the jolts of thoughts from dungbeetle's mind after being Long-Wind-ified and greatly elaborated.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

imagine this.

like a thunderstrike cast upon the unsuspecting victim, this line popped into my mind all of a sudden this afternoon "if yan can cook, so can you" if i didnt remember wrongly, Yan the chinese chef used to point his yellow skinned chinese index finger towards the camera whenever he said that. or maybe that was a merely my constructed memory.heck cares. remember the finger?

or better still, do you remember how, the retro-aged red,white and blue themed "UNCLE SAM WANTS YOU!" posters had this spooky grandad figure who always points his index figure at you?

remember the freaky finger pointing, now imagine yourself jumpstarting a chainsaw, "varrrooom....dub dub dub dub" . Now, lift the chainsaw and slide it down the part where your finger meets the joining to the rest of the other fingers...
OKAY, my bad, you can skip the texas chainsaw masacre-gory part.
BUT remember the finger? now it's just a finger. separated from the rest of the body.alrite, take that little fellar, put it on a slab of white,vitruous china in an UPRIGHT position. pointing heaven-wards. or in all of our case--- ceiling-wards.

now,Squat . and Position yourself over the finger so that when u look down right-through your bushy crotch area , u see, a finger, pointed up towards your face. it's base,however, standing erected on the white, clean, and slightly wet and shiny porcelain-china toilet bowl, all under YOU.
yes imagine all these. except for the part of the color of the finger. imagine it to be in the color code "POO" [ the following content may potentially be nauseating or disgusting. please be notified that the authour's intentions are merely to share.]

can u imagine? i was practically staring at a finger-shaped shit pointing back at me,in that exact position. when i was taking a dump in an isolated toilet, not so far away from my office. For a moment, i thought that shit had come to life and that it was pointing back at me, as if to tell the rest of the world :" THAT"S WHERE I CAME FROM! THERE!" while pointing to my virgin- ass hole, accusing me of granting it's presence into this ugly world.
but then again, it could also be a divine vision telling me :" YOU . are the chosen one. not betty"

i dont know. but there i was , staring at my unintentional masterpiece, pointing back at me. laughing the rest of my shit back into my bowels. wondering HOW on earth did i produce such a magnificent structure that seems to defy the governing laws of the universe? a standing shit?

i dont know. i think it MUST be someone up there that's trying to tell me something.

well after the whole ordeal, i ended the visionary session with THE FINGER. and sadly watch it lean to an angle even the PISA could not perform in slow motion, until it collapsed onto the white porcelain bottom, giving out a solid "thud" . with a sigh. i bid my shorlived masterpiece goodbye and tsunamied it down the black hole , it mustve been scary for 'em....

20 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mr.han,

ur ass can produce such a fantastic masterpiece aaa...
maybe u should consider scopping it up and bring to NATIONAL ART GALLERY to see how much shit it's worth...

continue more funny stuff ( make it shorter la )

October 20, 2005 at 5:30 PM

 
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