(doodle)

"sir would you like to have cream toppings?"
"yeah."
he took his tray of mochalatte-whatever-frappeprapucino and headed to the most secluded dimmed corner of the whole shop. "ahh" he let out half a warm breath of air from his heavy lungs as he set his behind onto the familiar couch overseeing the rest of the cafe. it was 7.30pm, wednesday,his new nautica timepiece read.

it was a minute before he could get to his own senses, somehow everything looked as if tinted in a shade of dull brown. it felt as if his eyelids just couldnt raise that little bit higher to let more light in, as if his muscles were unwilling to pull up a curve with his thick peeling lips. all he could seem to do, was to stare into the blankspace wedged between the two heads of this couple seated right infront of his comfy plushy couch.

he wasnt unhappy.he wasnt himself. he just couldnt explain what it was. perhaps it was His version of pre-menstrual-syndrome, he was just restless the whole day. not only restless. he was JUST restless. like a monkey on a frying pan, he just couldnt sit tight, and everysmall problem that arose seem to add itself up to this big snowball of frustration. a snowball coming down the hill, that is barely stoppable.

barely unstoppable. if only there was an antidote. Well, atleast coming here alone, he thought , might help him chill and think straight to solve what he had been stuck in. or atleast identify why did he feel so, the whole day.this wasnt an unfamiliar feeling. the uneasiness that felt like a bug chewing on a strand of his vein on the neck. there was nothing much initially, but it was accumulative. like the waters of a flooded dam, the restlessness that wouldnt settle itself.

he figured that it would be useless to try to talk to anyone, for it shall be pointless because, he himself couldnt tell what was wrong with him.or what was the cause of such unneasiness. but deep down he recognised he needed someone to talk to. someone to cuddle, someone to listen and tell him, that, it will be alright. BUT he ditched the idea. simply because it was just unacceptable for a man like himself, to show such softness, vulnerability and desperation for care. for a man should be strong as always, he couldnt let her think that he would be, at times weak and in need of attention.

---a man should always protect the lady.---

it was a tug o war inside.now that he had started to think, to realise his need to see someone. to see her. BUT, then again, he shouldnt admit his weakened state, such instability will not only destroy the fort of impression he had been trying to forge, it will also shake her confidence in him. for so he thought. BUT then again, wouldnt it be more proper if he had been himself this time? he had always been himself, except for this softter side he hadnt. but now he felt so weak and low. thinking back, he still couldnt find the reason such restlessness could actually lower his self esteem.

"sigh*" he made a silent wish, he wished that she would sense his desperation for her. for her presence. he wished that she would come and hug him like how an angel would spread her gentle wings to wrap around them while he hugged her so tight, he hoped that she would come to listen to him, to stay in his arms and to tell him that nomatter what happens, he is the greatest.

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haha.not me. just some doodle. for mycase, my gf had all along known that i have a softer side character.
just to let you girls know, guys are not always strong and invulnerable.