man

the problem with man is, that every man wants to be the alpha male in his pack. every man wants his voice to be heard, and every man crave for attention.

i have never thought myself to be in this stereotypical gender description, but i have recently found out that the more older i get, the more i am, becoming into what is called a stereotypical man. i cannot bear stupidity, slack, and ppl who are lack of interest and motive, yet it seems that my life now, is leading myself down the path, of being a nobody, or even worse, am i becoming the type of ppl that i despise? people tell me, it's the real world, be strong, even if you're weak inside, so that others will not peck on your weak ankles, hide your vulnerability. i cannot. for i cannot bear to pretend or hide anything that i feel.

as you age, into my age, and that do think too much, you will start to have periodical sinkings of emotions, you will worry about the years laid infront of you, infront of your own hands, are you making the best out of every minute.

i cannot help it but break down and ask myself , where am i taking myself to? so i resort to my only pillar of support back there. back at where it is the warmest. home in the arms of my loved one, "she" . and i weeped like a baby infront of her. shattering , only infront of this angel where i have always been taking care of, wanting for her to take care of me instead for once. for her warm wings to cuddle around me, to tell me that she would be with me. no matter what happens. and she did. in her own way, she did. she did not tell me what i had wanted to hear, thats her. i knew. but she showed me, thru her actions. that she'd stick with me. that's all i care.